Reddit tells me that today is Chuck Norris' 800th birthday. Here, some collected “Chuckisms”.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife… with butter.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. He simply decides what time it is.
Death once had a near-Chuck experience.
Chuck Norris doesn’t call the wrong number, you picked up the wrong phone.
If chuck Norris stares at the sun, the sun goes blind
Chuck Norris doesn’t do a push ups, he’s pushing the Earth down.
When Chuck Norris chops onions, the onions cry.